“The key to being happy is knowing you have the power to choose what to accept and what to let go” ~Dodinsky
Barring the few enlightened ones, it wouldn’t be wrong to state that most people are not happy today.
The most common reason attributed to this is that man has become too materialistic. He is more focused on collecting the material things and losing the key human values.
Not Completely true though. The modern day inventions can’t be simply ruled out as bad in the name of materialism.
I think none of us would want to go to olden days when we had to write a letter to know the well being of our loved ones. The letter had to reach in a couple of days. And then you would hear back a few days later. Who wants that?
No one!
Today on a click of a button, you can see videos and talk to your loved ones sitting thousands of miles away, thanks to technological developments.
Today on a click of a button, you can see and talk to your loved ones sitting thousands of miles away, thanks to technological developments.
Also, who would want to go back to the days, when it took days to reach even few hundred miles away, which journey we can travel in just a couple of hours?
Surely, No one would!
So the modern day progress has made our lives easier and comfortable (though not equally happier).
Yes, because, the man is only making his life comfortable, but not enhancing his level of consciousness to understand the real emotions which give the happiness.
Why it is that despite all the comfort and luxury provided by the science and technology, the human being is not getting happier truly.
This article captures some of the reasons for that:
Reason #1: You Always Compare with Others
“Comparison with myself brings improvement, comparison with others bring discontent”~ Betty Jemmy Chung.
Everyone has different circumstances in life. Everyone starts at his own point in life and has its own journey towards success.
So always getting in the habit of comparing yourself with others will put you in a state of consistent discontent. You might be comparing the strength of another person with your weaknesses, which is a game, one can never win.
Because:
“If you focus on your strengths, you will multiply them. But if you focus on your weakness, at the max you will become mediocre”
So, the right approach is to get “inspired” from the other people and most importantly take action to change your situation.
So, the best form of comparison is the comparison with oneself.
The real happiness comes from the fulfillment only. If you have given your best shot during the day, you will have a sense of fulfillment, which is the real source of happiness. Life is enough, Stop comparing yourself to others.
Reason# 2: You don’t Express Gratitude
One of the biggest reason for feeling unhappy or sad is that we don’t count our blessings when we wake up every morning. Rather, we focus on the things we lack and believe that our happiness is solely dependent on achieving the next big thing.
We have so many examples in life to prove that the happiness from every next physical thing in only short-lived. The moment we get what we are looking for, we again start looking at something bigger than that
If you are consistently focussing on lack in your life, it will create a never fulfilling mental loop.
“What you focus on grows, what you think about expands and what you dwell upon determines your reality”~ Robin Sharma.
You think the glass is half empty.
You don’t feel grateful that even this half glass can quench your thirst.
More than 200 Million people in India sleep empty stomach every night. If these people get a one-time meal, then they will be the happiest person.
The idea is not to stop progress by looking at such people. But alongside one shouldn’t make his or her happiness solely dependant on the achievement of the materialistic goals.
If you have a house to stay, a vehicle to drive, a reasonable job or vocation to lead a nice life with your family, you are already better off than substantial population.
Your gratitude has a positive impact on your future too. Because:
“What you appreciate, appreciates” ~Lynee Twist
Reason # 3: You are Too Stuck in Your Comfort Zone
“A comfort zone is a really beautiful place, but nothing grows there”~ Anonymous
One of the most common reasons for lack of happiness in people’s lives is lack of growth.
At a certain point in time, people get stuck in their comfort zone.
Most of us try to always play very safe in our lives. And we very smartly keep on hiding this besides the facade of phrasing it “practical”.
We don’t pull up our courage to do what we want to do or what we should do to move the needle forward.
We keep on hiding our dreams for years only to regret in the later part of our lives.
“Life is too short to be little. You must enlarge your imagination and then act upon it”~ Benjamin Disraeli.
I was listening to one interview from an entrepreneur #GaryVeynerchuk. He explained that he had interacted with a large number of people who are more than 60 years of age. They were asked the topmost regret of their lives and the common response was:
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
So, there is always a deep desire inside the heads of people for doing something they wanted to do, but they leave it out because they didn’t think it was practical.
May be you would think that you are too young or too old for trying out something different.
May be you would think that your circumstances are not right yet.
May be you think too much about what if you fail.
So, the lack of courage to come out of their comfort zone makes people unhappy about their lives. In my book “Procrastination NO MORE!”, I have captured the detailed strategy on how to get comfortable with your discomforts.
Reason #4: You Don’t Move Your Body
The one thing, which today’s technology and inventions have done bad to the mankind is that it has almost killed the requirement of moving your body at all. Especially for the knowledge workers.
Especially for the knowledge workers.
So if you don’t want, it is entirely possible that you are able to do all your work sitting whole day. Of course, addressing the nature’s call is something which only will make you move (might be someone is trying to invent something for comfort on this front also J)
So you don’t move your body. You might think this as a luxury, but this is a real big dent on your health and happiness.
Because, when you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins. These endorphins interact with the receptors in your brain that reduce your perception of pain. Endorphins trigger a positive feeling in the body and help you develop a positive and energizing outlook on life.
If you see the top notch performers in any field, they are regularly doing exercise. Even top billionaires you would see participate in marathons.
Reason #5: You are Always in Past or Future
It is generally reported that human mind runs around 60000 thoughts per day and more than 95% of those are the repeated thoughts.
People either are thinking of their past, because this is something, which they have already seen and certain about.
Otherwise, people keep on thinking about their future. They are continuously anxious about what is the next thing going to happen in their lives. How would be their future?
So this whole focus on past and present makes you stranded in the present moment. You are not able to take any action or get plagued with indecision. If you don’t move any further, that becomes the key reason for your unhappiness.
But the point to remember is that you can’t ever go back and undo that action of the past. Similarly, you cannot go to future and make the things happen now.
The only place where you can act from is the present.
It is only your present which will take the shape of past tomorrow. And also your future will come only in the form of today, to act upon.
If you have to make your past good and the future better, you have to focus and work on your present.
The principle itself is self-fulfilling. If you make your present better and have a look back, then you will see a better past. Also, if you live your present well, the well lived present will set the layout or background for a better future anyways.
“If you are depressed, you are living in past. If you are anxious, you are living in future. If you are at peace, you are living in present.”~ Anonymous.
